In Which James Tries Too Hard
by Mr. Omelette
Summary: James thinks he's insane for juggling his Diamond and Maslow personae. Luckily, he has other people to keep him sane. OT4!friendship real-verse


Disclaimer: I do not own BTR

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><p><strong>In Which James Tries Too Hard<strong>

It's not strange that James Maslow's planning to be an idol. That he could be… That he's worth being someone's hero. It's what he's always wanted since he could remember. His parents used to tell him that he wanted to be someone like Michael Jackson, or how he always answered 'famous star' in the 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' questions in class. But it's hard getting to the top, and an upcoming talent like him can't do much against the expectation of his career path. So he joined Big Time Rush. And as a group it's a lot less_ harder_.

To be honest, they're pretty cool together; and with Carlos, Logan and Kendall they pretty much shine like diamonds. Excuse the lame James Diamond joke.

However, it's still _pretty_ difficult. Especially since he's in a preteen-teenage boyband.

There is a lot of scrutiny too_. Always_ a lot of scrutiny. And people are always looming over him and his band mates, seeing if they're being nice, and good, and _perfect_. And if they're not, those same people would explode at the tiniest of mistakes.

Of course, a little scandal wouldn't hurt – in fact, it is _highly_ encouraged – but not for him; not James Maslow. Not James Maslow who wants little kids looking up to him and saying 'I wanna be like James Maslow when I grow up.' And he can't be that guy if he's arrested because of a DUI, or if he's been caught doing something inappropriate. Even when he's out having fun, James would still be a little too conscious and reserved with what he's doing. So as much as possible, he wanted to be _perfect._ So in order to do that he must first _try_ to be perfect; he mustn't do anything to ruin the reputation he's building. Plus, he doesn't like being known for notoriety so he has to be spic and span.

"So what do you think is next for Big Time Rush?"

Come to think of it, all the groupies, and partying, and concerts, and media coverage – at the end of the day – are just perks. And there's a lot of careful decision-making and effort needed to keep all those perks.

James thinks of the most intriguing yet modest answer, "Well, given that we're preparing for our tour, I'm pretty sure we're gonna singing all around the country." He inhales, "And since we're going to perform in schools and such, I guess we'll be keeping in touch with our fans a little more."

silence…

"So how's that?"

"I don't know, James." and James frowns. "There is such a thing as _too_ modest. You know that, right?"

"How can I be _too_ modest, Logan?"

Fun fact: Logan is James' self-described guinea pig. Or, in layman's term, Logan is his 'I'll-be-the-partner-crazy-enough-to-follow-you-equally-crazy-ideas' guy.

"You just are." Logan deadpans, "Can you try bragging James? By a little?"

Like the fact that everyday, for two hours, Logan would sharpen James' interviewee skills by having mock interviews, so yeah, _crazy_.

"You know I can't, Logan." True, James, for all his haughty exterior, is actually a humble little flower. Er… Manly little flower. Erm… _Manly flower_.

"I'm conceited enough as James Diamond; I can't have them thinking that I'm the same as my character. I don't want to appear shallow and unapproachable."

Logan thinks of his friend as a humble man-flower. Right.

"So, instead of making a lasting impression, you'd rather be precociously safeguarded."

Logan and his big words. "That's not what I meant, Logan." James deflates with a quick sigh, "Its just hard juggling two personae in front of the media."

"Well, how about showing that… James Diamond charisma then? Why be two people when you can be both?"

"What do you mean by that?" the undertone in Logan's statement sent some wrong vibe to him. "Are you telling me that I'm not charismatic enough?"

"I'm not telling you anything," Logan tried to placate, "It's just… being too modest gives the wrong people the idea to doubt you and your capabilities. And that you're weak."

James sighs. It's not that he doesn't know that, it's just… he's been brought up by his parents like that. That bragging and being self-centered doesn't make you a good person. God knows how James managed to pull off that James Diamond persona because they're just too dissimilar. An anti-persona of some sorts.

"Well, I am not weak,"

Logan raises his hands," I know, actually you're very intimidating, with all that confidence–"

He didn't get to finish his point because the oven's alarm blared.

Fun fact: James loves to cook. Especially for people. That's why he's the unofficial cook of Big Time Rush specializing in breakfast food. Ever since he found out that Logan couldn't cook things without references and cookbooks and since that coleslaw-dishwasher-fiasco incident where the fire department actually came to the apartment, the other two are _perpetually_ banned doing anything kitchen related–especially Kendall.

James checks their casserole while Logan drones on and on about how James needed to be more boastful.

"…ou're intensely charismatic when you're talking to me, or Kendall, but when you get interviewed by people who really matters, you're… you lose that edge, and you kinda shrivel up."

Unintentionally, the tall man tunes it out (partly because he doesn't like the idea of being conceited), "Dinner's done, why don't you call the guys while I prepare the table?"

* * *

><p>Washing dishes has always been a difficult job for the BTR household. Now, multiply that by 9486851687 since Kendall broke their dishwasher two days ago.<p>

Today proved to be particularly harder for dishes. Because James is doing it with _Kendall_.

"Kendall, what the hell are you doing?"

"Doing the dishes." Came the blonde's WTF reply.

Who ever taught Kendall to use hand soap as dishwashing liquid should be shot.

And mutilated.

And castrated.

And poked in the eye.

Then burned at the stake.

Or just plain vaporized from the face of the earth, if you want to be ethical and all that.

James swats Kendall's hands and grabs the sponge from him, "You don't use the hand soap Kendall. What're you, eight?"

Kendall grumbles something incoherent but James just ignores him, "If you're gonna help, I would appreciate it if you do it _properly_." He feels stupid, because really, his fuming, and Kendall's, well, being Kendall.

Not to mention, James Maslow's in a polka dotted apron – _polka dots_ – complete with yellow rubber gloves.

"And if you're _expecting_ help, I would appreciate it if you be nicer." The blonde man retorts.

James, unfazed, waves his hand dismissively, "Just call Logan."

Kendall, in all his irritation, pulls off his 'I'm blonde kiss me' apron and pink gloves before storming off.

"Fine! You don't need my help!_ Fine_!"

"You suck at house keeping!"

"Whatever!"

"You won't survive in the real world!"

"I don't care!"

* * *

><p>Kendall called for Logan aright. But not before boycotting him.<p>

"Logie, let's take a bath together."

Spoken like a true idiot who thinks he thought of the best idea ever.

"_Kendall!_" is the reply of the average reasonable person, "What the hell?" Average reasonable person indeed.

"C'mon Logie, I'll scrub your back." He makes a grab for the brunette's apron and pulls it off, "Leave sourpuss James with his dishes and I'll make you spiffy and squeaky clean."

"Kendall, dude, you're creeping me." Seconded; Kendall trying to be cute should have its own warning sign. "'sides, it'll be faster if I help him."

"Aw, c'mon." A pouting Kendall is a seriously scary face. Especially with those eyebrows of his.

"No." Logan's flat reply.

"Pwease?"

"For the love of–I'm still here." James said irately, partly because they're too noisy, and mainly because Kendall's making both of them uncomfortable. "And please, no fanservising inside the household, we agreed on that remember?"

* * *

><p>In the end, however, Kendall managed to creep Logan out long enough for Logan to follow Kendall inside the bathroom. Poor, poor Logan.<p>

It's times like these that James questions whether or not Jagan is as powerful as Kogan.

James chuckles to himself; Jagan? Kogan? _Really?_

Anyway, these dishes won't clean themselves up – a friendly reminder of why James is irritated with Kendall right now – so he grabs the sponge and opens the faucet.

"What're you doing?" came the voice that James hadn't heard since, well since they got back from filming the show hours ago. It's Carlos, and James wonders where the guy has been. See, if you really knew Carlos, he's always gone and you'll just realize it when he makes his presence known.

"Dishes."

"Oh…" he must've seen the pile of pots and pans, and plates and cutlery because James heard Carlos come closer, "Need help?"

James shrugs, "Sure, why not?"

The time spent cleaning their dishes felt like years. And it's probably because Carlos and James isn't as close and Logan and James; even Kendall and James seem to have less awkwardness compared to James with Carlos. The tall brunette wonders why it's like that. It's not like he's purposely doing it. He _had_ hung out with Carlos before–

…

…er

Come to think of it, well, James never really _hung out_ with Carlos. At least not in the level how he hangs out with Logan or Kendall. In fact–

"–e're the others?"

Halfway through his third pot, James looks at his friend, "I'm sorry, what?" He should refrain from daydreaming too often.

"Where are Logan and Kendall?"

"Kogan time." He fights the urge to grin because that's the nickname everyone uses when a silly Kendall happens.

Carlos chuckles as he dries the dishes, "I wonder how Logan manages to stay sane with all of Kendall's craziness?"

"Yeah. If it were me I'd probably be creeped out by now." Not to mention how he wanted to tell the how gay they looked like when they're all bromance-y. Not that he's homophobic, he just wanted to see how Kendall would react if he told them, but he won't. Group dynamics and all that.

Carlos doesn't reply, and once again, James finds himself in the same awkward ambiance. And it frustrates him because it's already been a couple of months since they've known each other. And a lot has happened between then; like the fact that they got to be roommates, and that James Diamond and Carlos Garcia are the closest of friends (_you know what I mean_), and… well…

Er…

Hmm…

_Wow!_

And not 'wow' in the spectacular way because he's shocked that he doesn't really _know_ Carlos that well. It's frightening and saddening because Carlos doesn't seem like a bad guy.

Another few minutes of silence pass, and James is up to his ear with the awkwardness. Time to do something about this… thick air.

"So… how's dinner?" James resists the urge to squirm at how pathetic his attempts at conversations are. It shouldn't be this painful, how is _it_ this painful?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"How was dinner?"

The shorter guy grinned, "I've never had beef casserole without beef before."

"Well, there's a reason why it's called meat substitute casserole." He finds himself grinning, "It really tasted like beef?"

Carlos nodded.

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment then." Why is he ending the conversation? He shouldn't.

"If there were to be a Masterchef celebrity edition, I'd want you there."

'How do I answer that?' James thought. This is actually much harder than his mock interviews with Logan. And the thing is it shouldn't be that hard. Because Carlos and James are friends. They _are_ friends.

Friends.

They're friends… _right_?

* * *

><p>A buttload of awkward moments and equally awkward conversations later, James is at his last plate. He hands it to Carlos, who by some reason isn't talking to him anymore, and the shorter guy dries it with a towel and places it at the cupboard.<p>

He wonders if it's something he had said to him.

"Listen," Carlos looks at him, "I'm really… trying."

"What do you mean?" Carlos titles his heads and knots his bows together.

James doesn't want to dive right in, because he might scare him, "I have a thing with people. At least, I think I do."

"Okay." Carlos replied uncertainly.

"Okay," James repeats what he said, "I don't know why, but," oh to hell with sugarcoating it, "I don't know why we can't seem to get on the same page."

Carlos must've been great at concealing his emotions because he only saw a flash of hurt there, before turning into a completely stoic face. And it's a frightening look because Carlos is always expressive. _Always_. Seeing him, emotionless… well, it is definitely not a good thing. "Okay." He shrugs meekly before turning around walking out of the room.

* * *

><p>James becomes increasingly aware that Carlos is avoiding him. Or, is blatantly ignoring him. Whenever he'd talk to the guy, Carlos would reply in a short, precise way that killed the conversation point blank. If he'd greet him, Carlos just mentions a quick greet back before returning to ignoring him. What's worse is that they're roommates and the only time James sees him inside their room is when it's lights out. It's so awkward inside their bedroom that James actually avoids his own room now. It's so evident that even at meal times, Carlos would only talk to Kendall and Logan, while the two idiots didn't seem to notice it. Well, Logan might've – and knowing Logan – he'll probably bottle it up until he explod–<p>

"Is Carlos avoiding you?"

Or get really frank.

It's uncomfortable because he cornered James in the refreshment table at the Nickelodeon studio, and Carlos is on the opposite side of the room, refusing to talk to him sans his script lines. On a side note, James is at an awe of how awesome of an actor Carlos is because his interaction when he's Carlos Garcia is superb–like he's not ignoring him. Who is he kidding, he's the one being immature here.

"Is he?"

Of course, James told him that he didn't know what was wrong with Carlos. He'd like to think that Carlos is better than that. But… okay, maybe it was his fault a little why he's acting like this, but he'd only said it hoping for Carlos to understand. That he's trying to get to know Carlos more.

"Is Carlos avoiding you?" he asks again.

He sighs, "No, Logan. He's not."

Logan tries to nod, but it halts half-way and ends with a frown, "I don't believe you."

"Is this one of our interviews? Or are having a support group moment?" James replies sourly.

Logan glares at him, and it's the first time he's seen Logan really angry, but at the same time James could see that Logan is trying to understand. "You can talk about it. What happened?" Thing is, he doesn't want to talk about it.

A few seconds pass and Logan is getting vexed, "James, for this group to work we have to not just be professional." His features soften, "Okay, maybe not really close, but we should at least be friends."

"I just…" James slouches a little, "I don't know why we can't get less awkward. I try my best but, I don't know. It's really awkward."

"And yet you managed to push him away. How'd you do it anyway?"

"I don't know. I just told him that I'm trying and that we can't seem to get in the same page." Logan slumps in the corner, munching on a sandwich, while James leans on the wall beside him, sipping his soda.

James watches Kendall talking to Challen and Ciara about their scene, "Hey Logan."

"Hm?"

"Who would you chose?" he knows he shouldn't because James already has an idea, "Me or Carlos?"

"James…"

"Just choose." He knows he shouldn't ask. Because James thinks he already knows the answer.

"Why?"

"No questions, Logan. Just answer the question." He finishes his can and throws it in the nearby trashcan.

"Well. I really hate to say this," Logan looks away from him, "But if it comes down between the two of you, I'd pick Carlos."

"Every time?"

"…yeah."

James doesn't get why someone as… childish as him gets to have Logan's support. It's not like James is competing with Carlos, he just doesn't understand it.

"…why?"

Logan takes a few seconds to answer that question, "He keeps me grounded." James looks at him, "I mean, for two years, it was just the two of us. Before you and Kendall came, there were a lot of other hopefuls. And seeing them changing week after week, month after month, it's nerve-wracking, you know." Logan laughs, "And at one point, I got scared that one day that might be me. That I'm the one they'll let go, you get what I'm saying? Carlos, the idiot, told me to just keep you head up. And that whatever happens, good things will still happen."

Logan stops James from butting in, "I know, it's corny, but he's like a big brother to me."

He doesn't say anything after that, both of them don't. Logan because it's a bit overwhelming of a feeling, and James because he doesn't know what to say. And that he's realized how much of a douche he's being.

They're silent for their entire time until the director tells them that break's over.

* * *

><p>Somewhere between that conversation and the silent treatment and ignoring, James sees a different Carlos.<p>

Maybe it was just him, but Carlos really seemed like the big brother type; like how he always encouraged Kendall subtly, or how he let Logan get a little depended over him. It's kind of weird because, well, it's _Carlos._ And it's kind of unusual because Carlos, er, doesn't really fit the older brother type.

"Here." James tears his gaze away from the TV screen to the opened bottle of beer in Carlos' hand.

"…thanks." _I guess_. He feels the shift of weight on the couch as Carlos sit down.

James fondles with the remote as he watches an episode of Rachel Ray's '30 Minute Meals.' And it's no big deal because James can cook, but he's become increasingly aware of the vibe between him and Carlos.

Carefully, his takes a sip from the bottle, "Lis–"

"You really think she can cook in thirty minutes?"

James was taken back a little with his question, "Well, I guess. I don't know."

He feels Carlos shrug, "Oh."

"What're you guys doing?" it's Logan, entering from his shared room with Kendall.

"We're watching Rachel Ray cook–" Carlos looks at James to finish his sentence.

"Meatball subs. And some weird food I can't pronounce." He finds himself grinning because it looked like Carlos is done with the ignoring.

Logan looks at them, then to the TV, then back to them, "Cool. Can I join?" he scoots between the two of them and makes a grab from Carlos' bottle. "And please use a coaster." Perhaps Logan's noticed them talking again, and that they're hanging out again. But James knows he's there because he wanted to keep them less awkward.

It's at that point that Kendall enters the room, carrying what appears to be a big box labeled 'fangifts.'

* * *

><p>"I'm really sorry."<p>

Carlos looks at him from his bed. Kendall had caught them passing the 2AM curfew mark, because anything beyond that is forbidden, and immediately ordered them to go to bed. Mostly because Logan's irritable when sleep deprived, and that Carlos is very difficult to wake up unless he's slept for at least six hours.

"Huh?"

"I didn't. I mean-"

Carlos stops him, "I get that I'm… difficult to get along with. And that you're trying." He turns away and stares at others things except him. "But sometimes, you just have to wing it. You know. And I know, that sounds really bad advice, but it'll be easier if you don't pressure yourself to get along with me. Let's just ride this one out."

It's kind of awkward that they're talking like this. It seemed like they're talking like they're… people in a relationship. And in no way does James bend like that.

"Not that I'm trying to creep you out." Carlos ends with a grin.

But anyway, on some certain level, they _are_ friends. And that still counts as a 'people in a relationship' thing.

So James is just gonna take Carlos is offering.

"Sure. I'd like that."

And the two of them explode into real laughter because of how awkward their conversation is.

James sees Carlos hurl another plush toy across the room. "We have a lot of stuffed animals."

Carlos laughs, "I know, right? I get flattered that our fans shower us with gifts, but will it kill them to give us a videogame every once in a while?"

"I know. Or maybe even food–and by food I mean, real food. We'll get fat with all the sweets and pastries they keep giving us."

"But the cakes _are_ good." Carlos thinks pensively, "James can you bake?"

"No, my first baking session ended with the fire department knocking in my house."

Carlos laughed, "Really?"

He nodded, "Yeah, like the time–"

* * *

><p>"Are they alright now?"<p>

"Shh…"

"Logan we shouldn't be spying on them. Especially not like this" Kendall whispered, pressing his ear on the wall. "Why're we spying on Carlos and James anyway?"

"Shut up, Kendall. I'm still mad at you."

"What? You're angry at me for wanting to scrub your back?"

He sees the look Logan sent him, and Kendall immediately caves, "I am never doing something like that with you ever again."

"So your back is a little hairy." Kendall starts but he shuts up when Logan turned more… pissed. In fact, his glare was so heated, it actually froze everything.

"Oh C'mon."

"Shh…" Logan rolls his eyes when he hears laughter on the other side of the room.

It's good that they're getting along now.

"I didn't mean to offend you." Kendall never really thought that Logan's back is a sensitive issue or maybe it's because–

"Whatever Kendall." He looks at Kendall one last time before making a grab from one of the fan-sent presents, "I'm bunking with them tonight. Goodnight, Kendall." He says sourly, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Are you really gonna sleep on the floor tonight?" Carlos asks disbelievingly. This is a first because Logan has never been this pissed at someone. James knows its Kendall but Logan won't talk about the details.<p>

"I'm not gonna sleep on the floor. I'll use this!" he shows them the fan-sent present.

"A sleeping bag?" James stares at the blue lump of nylon, and then back to his friend, "What type of fan would send you that?"

Logan rips the plastic cover, and uncoils the sleeping bag, "The type of fan who knows when I'll need it." He gets inside the sleeping bag, only to find out that the sleeping bag is too small for him.

Carlos chuckles at Logan's expense, "Well, if you're really that determined, we could bunk together in my bed."

"Thanks," Logan smiles as Carlos scoots over. The two lie down on the bed before they realize that it's too crowded for two people.

"Fine, I'll just go sleep at the couch." Logan says dejectedly.

"Or," James starts, "We could do this," he pushes his bed closer to Carlos' "Tada! Aren't I awesome?"

Logan laughs before settling in between the two of them. "Totally awesome."

* * *

><p>AN: So, here I am again with another BTR oneshot. More precisely, a sequel to my other oneshot. It's in really more loosely based on their interviews and interactions away from the show. I just added some extra details; like Logan being neurotic, Carlos being like an older brother, and James being a bit detached. Here I liked to give focus on James. I mean, I noticed that he's a bit, reserved when he's interviewed on talk-shows, and he's really confident when it's for teenage audience, like his fanlala interview with Carlos. Anyway, tell me what you think guys. And thanks for those who favorited my BTR stories. I think I'll go with Carlos next, then Kendall last.


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